Friday, 19 June 2009

They walk among us.................

I recieved this email from my eldest daughter the other day and only just got around to reading it. I found myself sitting shaking my head from side to side because it is all so familiar.

With apologies to all idiots out there - please read and have a good giggle.....................


We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one B & D made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two..'

We haven't used this repairman since.

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's drive thru window and I gave the teen a $20 note. Our total was $10.50, so I also handed her fifty cents. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me ten dollars back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the fifty cents, and said 'We're sorry but we can't do that kind of thing.' The teen then proceeded to give me back $9.50 in change.

It is best not to confuse the teenagers at McD's.

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local council office to request the removal of the Kangaroo sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many kangaroos are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'


My daughter went to a local Hungry Jack's and ordered a burger. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.


I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'


The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'



At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that animal-in-the-headlights stare.


I work with an individual who plugged her power board back into itself
and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.


When my husband and I arrived at a dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'

These remind me of the young woman at the Northern Territory Wildlife Park, who wouldn't give my daughter a student concession, which was available for students of Australian universities because my daughter was a student at the University of Tasmania. She was convinced that Tasmania didn't count as part of Australia because it's separated by the sea.


They walk among us... And the scary part is that they VOTE and ...
they REPRODUCE .........


Lulu said...

Ha, good one. Love it.

Sew Useful Designs said...

He he he... thanks for the giggle Lizzie!

My Scott came out with a classic one day when we were talking about how long we'd had our goldfish, which was about three years at the time. And Scott told his father, "yeah, they've been alive ever since we had them."!! It still makes me giggle.

Hugs! Vikki xx

ps. Guess who I made something for, last night?!!! (giggle)

Fiona said...

Gave me a lovely Friday giggle - Thanks

Anne-Lise at Rag, Tag, Bobtail said...

Can't stop giggling ... thanks, Lizzie.

Deb said...

Its scary isn't it when we hear things like that.

Julie said...

Very good. :0)
Thanks for the warning and the giggle.

LeeleeFL said...

I had all I could do not to spray coffee on my monitor! Lord save us, there are some amazingly stupid people in this world! One wonders how they make it though a day!

Thanks for the chuckle, leelee

CabbageQuilts said...

Ha ha, thanks for the laughter, how funny!!

Micki said...

That was very funny indeed! Enjoyed reading the post!

Sandra @ Pepperberry and Co. said...

And truly, the scariest part is that they reproduce...

Francien said...

I wonder sometimes...does it hurt to be so stupid?? love your post Lizzie...its very funny!!
greetings Francien.

Sarah said...

LOL!! Some of them are SO funny!
x Sarah


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